So I was discussing school options with my three-year old. We had covered off, in some detail, the complex ‘IF’ ‘NOT’ ‘ELSE’ Boolean logic of the school admissions process that baffles most. And also the ‘you can’t go playgroup over the summer because you are not four-and-a-half’, but ‘you can start school in September because you will be four years’ old’; when he said:

“No, I’m going to Hogwarts“

“You can’t go to Hogwarts it’s a secondary school – Harry is eleven years’ old when he starts school”

After the obligatory – no he isn’t, yes he is argument I tried a different tack.

Children that go to schools like Hogwarts do their homework and they have nice table manners you never see them burping, saying Yuk or throwing the odd pea or broccoli spear on the floor when they think their parents aren’t looking.

So if you want to get to Hogwarts:

• do your homework and
• don’t mess about at meal times and
• do be polite [especially after you've popped]

 which seems to be working…

I’ll let you know.